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Where to start? Lived here since 2003. Nice neighbourhood, chill town. Then we get Crazy Neighbour #1. She’s a dentist. A known crazy lady, drunk, a messy mean one at that. She moves back into her house which previously had a family with 3 teens and 2 dogs (they were great!). Leaves and comes back with a tree planter 10 years younger. Gets knocked up. While knocked up hits my visiting friends parked truck (brand new).

A kind neighbour calls us to tell us this. Cops show up a couple of hours later, and baby daddy stumbles out, saying he hit the truck then went inside and had dinner. Sure. Turns out she was driving. Leaves notes on our cars when we park on the street. Nice. She’d let her really old, blind, deaf dog wander and it gets hit and spun through a snow plow a couple winters later. In 2012, im walking my dogs, and she gets out of her car, slamming the door to yell at me saying I wrecked her garden. If I could train my dogs to pee on a spot for spite, that’d be amazing, but the plain truth is that she planted stuff, didn’t water it, and there was no rain for 2 months. Had it out. She left me alone.

Couple weeks ago, we are pulling out of our driveway. We live on a crazy steep hill (she’s at the top of the hill). See her car flying up the hill, illegally as its a one way (crazy steep and has 2 ninety degree corners). She nearly hits us, and would have hit the RHS passenger where our baby was. Give her the finger. Call the cops as its a habit of her’s to take the shortcut after picking her kid up from daycare. I confront her about it, and her response? ‘You’re crazy and have no friends’. No apology, just her telling me I’m crazy. I talked to another neighbour, and he told me she has a recent DUI. Dang, if only I could have used that one.

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